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The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

by Barbara Coloroso

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Editorial Reviews
Product Description

Practical solutions to a problem that may affect 80% of school children.

Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth and her wide experience with conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso offers a practical and compassionate book destined to become a groundbreaking guide to this escalating problem.

Coloroso helps readers recognize the characteristic triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the harm; the bullied who is the target (and who may become a bully); and the bystander––peers, siblings, or adults who don't act to defuse the situation. Readers learn:

o What bullying is and what it isn't; the three kinds of bullying; and the differences and similarities between boy and girl bullies

o How to read the subtle clues that a child is being bullied

o Seven steps to take if your child is a bully

o Four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to a bully

o Why zero tolerance policies can equal zero thinking

o Why contempt, not anger, drives bullying, and how to confront this in bullies.

o o Bullying is a widespread problem. In a 2001 study by the Kaiser Foundation in conjunction with Nickelodeon TV network and Children Now, 86% of children ages 12–15 interviewed said they get teased or bullied at school––making bullying more prevalent than smoking, alcohol, drugs, or sex among the same age group. Barbara Coloroso is an award wining author. Parenting Through Crisis and Kids Are Worth It! each won a Parent's Guide Award 2001 from Parent's Guide to Children's Media.




All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:4.5 out of 5 stars
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

4 out of 5 starsSome Good Tips But Needs Updating, 2008-09-19
This is a generally good intro to bullying but for more updated information and deeper emphasis on strategies,tips and practical solutions to use in the home and school I would recommend Bully-Proofing Children: A Practical, Hands-On Guide to Stop Bullying.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsA Great Book for Everyone!, 2008-09-07
Bullying is a problem that involves all of us and there is something in this book for each of us. Whether we are a parent, a teacher, a student, or whatever--Coloroso's book gives us much food for thought. The role of the bystander is indeed a crucial role as the bystander can unintentionally (or perhaps sometimes intentionally) facilitate the bullying situation. Highly Recommended!


5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4 out of 5 starsEvery Parent Needs to Read a Book on Bullying, 2008-05-19
Bullying is so rampant that I think every parent should understand this phenomenon. I read this book over 3 years ago and it was very helpful. Another book,I recommend, Bully-Proofing Children: A Practical, Hands-On Guide to Stop Bullyingwritten by a school counselor and teacher is even more up-to-date with stats and an outstanding chapter on cyberbulling and how to deal with it. It is packed with practical strategies, stories and tips to be proactive and intervene. I hope every teacher and parent reads it. We need to spread the word so our kids don't become victims.


5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 stars An excellent treatment of a timeless topic., 2007-12-31
This book is very useful in dealing with the bully in the school. This is truly a life and death issue. It's application however goes beyond the the schools.It is always applies to the work place,business,the church,the internet, the funeral arrangement conference, national politics,and international relations. Chapter seven "Is there a bullied kid in the house applies" to all these environments.

She points out that the roots of bullying are in the home. Chapter Five is excellent in revealing three types of families and how it relates to bullying.She is particularly bold in describing sexual bullying and it's
relationship to sexual harassment. Her treatment of telling and tattling can be applied not just to the schoolyard, but to any type of whistle blowing. Five stars! Excellent job on a timeless subject.





1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4 out of 5 starsUseful manual on an important topic, 2007-12-07
Coloroso breaks ground by discussing not just the bully and the bullied (who may be one and the same), but also the bystander, who plays a surprisingly important role in youthful bullying. The book is a little repetitive and simplistic, but overall it's an accessible treatise on an important topic.




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