Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

1. Stupid Secrets
Withholding important information for fear of rejection

2. Stupid Egotism
Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you

3. Stupid Pettiness
Making a big deal out of the small stuff

4. Stupid Power
Always trying to be in control

5. Stupid Priorities
Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship

6. Stupid Happiness
Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good

7. Stupid Excuses
Not being accountable for bad behavior

8. Stupid Liaisons
Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship

9. Stupid Mismatch
Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses

10. Stupid Breakups
Disconnection for all the wrong reasons

Much of the book has been created from letters written by listeners of her show. These personal anecdotes are used to illustrate points and provide examples we can all relate to; given their tremendous variety, you're sure to find some that click with you. They make the book an easily absorbed read and provide a welcome break from Schlessinger's angry tirades on premarital sex, addiction, and the general "stupidity" of the human race. Behind her anger, you'll find suggestions on taking time to really listen to each other, ways to respect each other's needs without catering to selfishness, and a firm belief that relationships are nearly always worth saving. --Jill Lightner

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All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Every couple should read or listen to Dr. Laura!, 2008-09-18
This is an awesome audio book! I really enjoyed listening to it and have loan it out to my neices and nephews that are in relationships or married!


0 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Plugging the Dike with ones little finger?, 2008-07-12
It seems that Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil (both from the Oprah end of the rightwing religious political spectrum), have together colonized the known universe of "pop psychology," or what their fellow conservative ditto heads refer to as "psycho-babble."

Like her other books in this series, this one too skims the surface and snags the low hanging fruit for those poor souls who have no idea who they are, or why they are in a relationship in the first place? Neither Drs Phil nor Laura seems to care much about the preparatory work of building sound personhood based on introspection and personal awareness, as a necessary foundation for using these ten prescriptions, which in any case must precede them if there is any chance of them being deployed successfully. The idea that there are shortcuts to these very serious issues is just another cheap marketing device, and both Phil and Laura diminish the title doctor when they traffic in this kind of "cure in a bottle misery." It is "snake oil" by another name. But hey, at least it allows them to laugh all the way to the bank with their consciences intact.

This book and others of this genre are the equivalent of the much-revered American tradition of giving canned foods to the poor at Thanksgiving. It is a gift to the giver, not to the troubled: For anyone who has ever been poor knows that the last thing you want to do is give poor people handouts, least of all canned foods. This only makes them feel worse about their condition. What they lack most, of course is not food, but dignity and connectedness.

In the same way, what troubled couples usually lack is "a relationship with at least one whole independent or aware adult" in them. Feeding them the equivalent of psychological canned goods is a cosmetic fix that makes Drs Phil and Laura feel that they have done something good for society, but this "psychological cotton candy" cannot possibly fix a troubled relationship, the source of which is that it is inhabited by "partial" rather than "whole" adult human beings.

Without the more robust understanding to be found in something minimally on the order of Dr Viscott's "The Language of Feelings," these 10 prescriptions (as well as those in Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue") are like plugging the dike with ones little finger.

But what the heck, something is always better than nothing, right?

For something, both books get Two Stars.


4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

A Revealing look at Relationships, 2008-02-19
"What women don't allow, men can't and won't do." ~ pg. 8

Whether you are dating or married, Dr. Laura has sage advice for couples who are destroying their relationships with stupid secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, priorities, happiness, excuses, liaisons and breakups. She takes each topic and weaves her wisdom through listener responses.

"What, if any, information from your past are you obligated to reveal during dating, engagement and marriage." ~ pg. 13

The first chapter is the most revealing and some of the advice is surprising yet wise. Dr. Laura differentiates between privacy and secrecy. The two topics she focuses on are sexuality and finances.

Most of the issues in this book stems from people acting badly and realizing the error of their ways. Some of her listeners root out selfishness and replace it with giving. Through the listener responses you can find creative ways for turning around stressful situations. At times all people are really looking for is some kindness.

~The Rebecca Review



2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Positive Review , 2007-12-23
I was in a Relational Development class in college and we had to read this book for an assignment, I found it quite humerous and also disturbing. Some of the stories that are told do touch your heart and then you will have some stories that will make you want to jump out of your skin and yell at disturbed spouse.
Over all Dr. Schlessigner 10 Stupid Things People Do To Mess Up Their Relationships Dr. Laura touches on key problems that she sees as being crucial reasons why couples do not usually last. Specifically she notes secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, priorities, happiness, excuses, liaisons, mismatches, and breakups. Her fans call and write her and tell her their problems touching on these stories and she gives her opinion on the situations and defends her points with their stories.
10 Stupid Things, is not based on fact or studies. It is based on one woman's opinion. Dr. Linda simply tells her opinion from either her own experiences or other people's similar experiences. She helps people who are choosing to write to her therefore, they already like her ways of thinking and her advice; which is why she is helpful to them.

I did like the book overall and did find it an easy read, you will enjoy also and even if you have a million and one things to do, this book will move by swiftly.


1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Good advice from Dr. Laura, 2007-09-15
I bought this book for my teen-age granddaughter who is dating age, I also bought one for her boyfriend. I reviewed the book and it had good advice not only for the novice dater, but for those individuals who have been dating for years and wondering what's wrong with their past relationships. Clear and concise advise. Good book.

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