by Harriet Lerner
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| List Price: | $13.95 |
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Product Description
In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when: - We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.
- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.
- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.
- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.
- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."
- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.
Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly. Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.
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Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
 The Dance of Connection, 2008-10-01
This author, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., was recommended to me by a friend. She thought it might help me in my sturggle to resolve a marital issue I have been having. This book did, indeed, offer valuable insights into how families interact and interconnect, from ancestral beginnings that influence us up through the generations. It helped me realize that many of my patterns of interacting with the men in my life could be traced back to my father, his father, and possibly further (if that information could be found). Unfortunately, my father passed away at age 81, two years ago this month. After reading this book I had a long conversation with my mother (now 81 and very healthy and active) about how she and her father and mother interacted as she was growing up. Though my issues turned out to be connected much more closely to my father's side of the family, it was wonderful to hear stories about my mother's life. If I had planned ahead, I definitely would have had a tape recorder ready because we will probably never be able to duplicate what was shared, that day, in the sunshine, in my lovely backyard garden, with both of us just pleasantly swinging on my swing! I HIGHLY recommend this book...even if you're not struggling with interpersonal issues (but who in the world doesn't from time to time?!). Another heavily underlined resource!!!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
 The Dance of Connection....., 2008-09-14
I identify with many of the examples. I feel supported by this. Dr Lerner uses a few examples from earlier books. The author offers her own experiences and feelings.....very effective for me. i'm in the process of establishing some of the suggested practices right now.....in my relationships.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
This book was life changing!, 2008-04-14
My counselor suggested that I read this book and I am so glad she did! It is so easy to read, and it has so much helpful insight that I have read it twice and recommended it to many of my friends and family members.
The Dance of Connection gives advice on how to set boundaries within your relationships so that you don't end up feeling used or resentful. It also is really clear about how to keep a relationship alive without completely distancing from it or abandoning it.
This book is really easy to read. It includes lots of bullets for important points, stories of how people have dealt with their relationships, and kind-hearted advice about how to give yourself space and time to deal with the issues in your own relationships.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Self help, 2008-02-11
Haven't read this one yet but love the other books I've read by the author. She's a great help in understanding the dances we participate in with others and the outcomes from the way we dance.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
learn to communicate positively , 2007-08-09
I was not impressed with the style in which the book was written, and I struggled to keep reading it in the beginning. However, I think the information she provides in the book is invaluable and after sticking with it, I learned a lot about how to talk to people in various types of relationships and situations. I would particularly recommend this book for people like me who find themselves speaking out of emotion, because this book can help you recognize your weaknesses and learn the benefits of communicating with control and with purpose.
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