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The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It

by Susan Maushart

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Editorial Reviews
Product Description
Becoming a mother is filled with the extremes of emotion--the highest highs and the lowest lows. But women are often reluctant to talk honestly about the experience for fear they'll be seen as bad mothers. With wit and candor, The Mask of Motherhood takes on the myths and the misinformation, helping women to prepare and deal with the depth of feeling that comes with the experience and perhaps most important, letting them know that many, if not most, new mothers are feeling the same way.

Susan Maushart, social critic and mother of three, explores how motherhood affects our marriages and friendships, our relationships with parents, our sex lives, and self-esteem. Becoming a mother is a momentous occasion, so why do we maintain such a conspiracy of silence about it? In The Mask of Motherhood, mothers will find the comfort and reassurance they are looking for, and confirmation that, indeed, motherhood is the toughest job in the world, but can also be the most rewarding.

"Maushart writes engagingly and persuasively about the fact that...today's mothers feel more pressure than ever to defend their choices by donning a happy face." --People Magazine

Amazon.com Review
Everything changes when a woman becomes a mother, but society--particularly women themselves--often colludes to deny this simple truism. In The Mask of Motherhood, author Susan Maushart (a nationally syndicated columnist in Australia and the mother of three children) explores the effect childbearing has upon women. In the process, she removes the veils of serenity and satisfaction to reveal what she holds to be the truth: the early years of motherhood are physically difficult and can be emotionally devastating. New mothers increasingly enter full-scale identity crises, few women have sufficient information about child-rearing realities, and, as Maushart writes, "the realities of parenthood and especially motherhood are kept carefully shrouded in silence, misinformation, and outright lies." The book comprises seven essay-style chapters. In "Falling: The Experience of Pregnancy," Maushart discusses wrongful notions about morning sickness, the mixed messages about pregnancy weight gain, and the "mask" of stoicism pregnant women feel compelled to wear. In "Laboring Under Delusions," Maushart exposes the changes 30 years have brought in childbirth, and the contemporary woman's need for self-control in all things, including birth. In "Superwoman and Stuporman," Maushart disabuses readers of the myth of what she calls, "pseudo-egalitarian family life." The Mask of Motherhood is extensively researched, convincing, and deeply insightful. --Ericka Lutz


All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:4 out of 5 stars
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starssmart and honest, 2008-08-20
As a woman who is deciding whether or not to have a child, I was attracted to the title of this book as one that would perhaps balance out the messages I'm getting from friends, family, and the media--all promoting motherhood. At first I was worried the book would feel dated, as it was published in 1999, so I hesitated to buy it. I am so glad that I did. What Maushart did for me is acknowledge that all the options for mothers--working out of home part-time, working out of home full-time, staying at home--are fraught with complexity and sacrifices. But, surprisingly, the book is not a downer. I now have more empathy for my mom-friends who represent the gamut of choices, and I feel affirmed in my struggle to make this decision for myself. Moreover, Maushart points to the ways in which the quandary for moms stems from cultural, not personal, factors, such as the "structural inequality" of marriage and values internalized from childhood. So, no longer is this decision pitting me against friends, employers, and loved ones (or myself, for that matter). Whether we know it or not, we are all in this together. A must-read for everyone: men, women, children, parents, the childfree, the childless, and the undecided.


3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsRequired Reading!, 2008-03-28
Mask of Motherhood should be required reading for any new mommy. I have six year old twins and just recently discovered this book. What a great analysis of the complexity of motherhood! I wish I had known about it sooner. The text is soothing as it helps to know I'm not the only one that feels this way! I wish I could give it 4 1/2 stars -- I think the book is very weak on the GOOD things children bring into our lives. Still, I enjoyed the fresh perspective. Buy and Enjoy!


2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsA good look into reality, 2007-10-03
What you get is a sober view at motherhood. Pay attention of the role of the father. No women in the study says "oh and at that moment my husband did that..." motherhood looks like a very lonely journey you board on.


3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsEye Opening, 2007-07-26
Before I got my hands on this book the only things I had heard about motherhood were tales that might as well have come straight from the glossy pages of a parenting magazine. Motherhood seemed to be this glorious, rewarding and very satisfying experience. Not once did I hear anything more negative than "Raising Kids is not that easy".

In this very well researched book, however, motherhood is presented in a different light. The author talks about all the challenges new mothers have to face and why experienced mothers never really share these things with Non-Mothers.

I'm really thankful for this book because it gave me a better insight into what motherhood is really like and made me realize that I still need a few years before I will be ready to face this challenge.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsMy Favorite "Mother" Book, 2007-07-02
When you first become a mother and realize all "motherhood" entails, it can be a bit frightening. This book will be your savior. It includes the thoughts you may be thinking but are afraid to say out loud. It will open your eyes to the issues so many new mothers face with honesty. It will enable you to make the changes that you may deem necessary to take off your "mask". Most of all, you will be secure in the knowledge that you are NOT alone.

It Gets Easier!: And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers




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