The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and True Stories for Succeeding as the Chick-in-Charge

Forget what you’ve heard. Nice girls can get the corner office.



As women, we haven’t always had the best role models at work. We’ve either worked for men or we’ve had female bosses who are, well, big bitches. Woman still don’t have much of a road map right now when it comes to taking charge at the office, so the team who brought you the national bestseller The Girl’s Guide to Starting Your Own Business is drawing one for us. Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio will teach you to be powerful without being possessive, to be opinionated without being brassy, and to have a strong voice without micromanaging. You’ll learn just how to own the role of queen bee in a positive way so that you can be more mentor than manager, one who leads, inspires, and motivates.

So, you finally got that promotion. You’re the boss now. The supervisor. The manager. The captain. The taskmaster. Those days of taking orders, running errands, and clock-watching are over. As exciting as all this might seem, once the rush of the promotion is over, you might be scratching your head wondering exactly what to do. Being the boss is never easy, but it's twice as hard for a woman. It seems like there's no middle ground. Either you're the dragon lady who rules with an iron fist or the mousey girl who gets drowned out at every meeting. When a woman wields authority and dares to make tough decisions, how often is the "B-word" bandied about by her employees? How can she strike that balance between pushover and dictator?

Fear not. You can do the job. All you need is a little helpful advice to send you on your way. Whether you supervise two as a shift manager or lord over an entire corporate empire, Caitlin Friedman and Kim Yorio will show you how to step gracefully into your new position of power. They’ll teach you how to motivate your team without alienating them, how to delegate without feeling guilty, how to deal with office politics and how to handle evaluations, promotions, and even firings. And for those of you who are already running the show, they can help you become the mentor your employees deserve.

Inside, there are self-assessment questionnaires to help you find out where you land on the bitch or wimp scale; interviews with prominent female bosses, human-resources directors, and therapists; and advice from a whole host of experts. In addition, there are funny and informative checklists and tips to make sure you’re the Good Witch around the office and not the Big Bitch. And, most important, Caitlin and Kim will teach you the secrets to owning your role and loving it. You’ve earned your promotion, so enjoy it!

Top 5 Reasons to Buy The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch)

1. You just got promoted.
Yikes! Nobody ever taught you to be a manager. Your role models have been less than fabulous and you want to be better. We teach you how to be more mentor than manager. We show you how to be firm but fair. Armed with our book, you will learn how to get the best out of your employees.

2. Most management books put you to sleep.
No jargon and no need for an MBA. The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss Without Being a Bitch is a fun read that offers information without intimidation and includes all the advice you need to learn to lead, inspire and motivate. We include quizzes, tips, checklists and fun sidebars such as "Celluloid Bitches," and "The Girl’s Guide to Gossip" throughout.

3. Your manager is crazy.
You're not alone. In our "Good Witch/Big Bitch" boxes we share both the horrible and the heroic--stories from women from around the country who have seen it all and learned their lessons.

4. You're not a manager…yet!
Unlike most management books we speak to both leaders and the led. We offer tips and suggestions for dealing with issues such as micromanagement, taking credit for ideas, managing up to get the promotion, office politics and taking responsibility for mistakes.

5. Don't take just our word for it....
Good management is a life-long pursuit. We'd be foolish to believe we know it all, so to help us fill in the blanks we got on the phone with women from all over the country. We include interviews with coaches, human resource directors, other writers, supervisors, the supervised, mediators, and social workers to get their take on the challenges and opportunities of being the chick-in-charge.

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• The Girl's Guide to Kicking Your Career Into Gear: Valuable Lessons, True Stories, And Tips For Using What You've Got (A Brain!) To Make Your Worklife Work For You
• Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman: What Men Know About Success that Women Need to Learn

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All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Love it!, 2008-08-12
This book is insightful without being preachy. The cover and title make it seem as if the content is based on humor, but it really provides some great, realistic tips for those of us who are new to management roles. I would recommend this book to both new and experienced managers.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Somewhat basic, but an easy read, 2008-06-29
I skimmed through this book and it pointed me in the direction of other valuable resources. For that alone it was worth the price. That said, I agree with the earlier reviewer who said it doesn't provide much in the way of 'tactics'. I supposed you could call it 'grand strategy' wherein you get ideas on what to work on and then leads to other books.

For myself, I think most women I meet have a fair idea of what not to do (barring the wildly overemotional), but it's what to do that many of us could use the mentoring on. For example, working in an environment dominated by former military men, precise instruction on how to communicate effectively and/or come across as firm/tough but fair is helpful. The authors suggested "Nice girls don't get the corner office" which has much more in the way of concrete 'tactics' -- i.e. what words, postures, activities to avoid and which to cultivate.
So if you only have to by one book, it would be "Nice girls don't get the corner office". If you feel that you could use more broad advice and have the money to spare, buy both. Certainly this is more easy to read than some of the other career books I have encountered.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Don't Be That Horrible Boss You Had , 2008-04-08
This book provides practical advice to support your efforts to be a great manager. Even if you do not have direct reports, the book can be a tool for you to evaluate the working relationship you have with your manager. The author's use of humor makes this an easy and enjoyable read. If it makes any difference, I am not just recommending this book to you reading this Amazon posting. I have recommended the book to three of my friends and even walked one of them right into the bookstore to make her purchase when we were out shopping. Enjoy!


6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

Some Valuable Advice - and Some Things to Ignore, 2008-04-08
The full name of this book is The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch). The title bothers me - it seems a marketing ploy to catch people's attention while perpetuating a stereotype which is more suitable to the 1980s than the current decade. There are thousands of great female bosses out there. Over half of all graduate students are female. I've worked for many companies and never have had a problem because I'm female - or had a problem with females in management.

That being said, I know many women have trouble in a position of power - and I know that some people still have an issue with women being *in* power. Heck, there are still people around who look down on people for having dark skin. So if this book helps people in that situation, it's doing a good thing.

One indicator of the mindset of the authors is that the book is about 200 pages long - but they explain that they originally had a chapter on "why being a boss sucks" and that one chapter ALONE was over 200 pages and had to be drastically trimmed. What an awful attitude to have!! That's like having a book for moms with a gigantic chapter on "why being a mom sucks". As we all know, the things you focus on end up being the things that take over your life. If you focus on all the awful things about being a boss, that is not a healthy way of living. Heck, why not choose a different career path then, one that does not involve management, if you truly hate being a boss so much? Some people simply are more happy not having control over others. That is fine.

I'm not saying that you should ignore the challenges of being a boss. Certainly, there are challenges! But they are simply skills you need to learn to master, not "being a boss sucks" situations.

What are some of the challenges? The book tells you that as a woman you are likely to "freak out" and must not do that. You must take responsibility for your team, on caring well for them. You have to give credit to them, not steal it from them. You have to stay "consistent, loyal and unbiased". You have to be firm but fair. Learn to delegate.

The book tells you these things via little stories, and by proving lists. For example, as a boss you should post this above your desk: make a to-do list, set goals, stick to deadlines, keep your word, get it in writing, be proactive, think of the entire company, contribute to your team, focus on the big picture, be your own cheerleader, sell yourself stick up for yourself, don't be personal, network, and find a mentor. The book gives you little mantras. Give constructive feedback, not personal criticism. Leave everyone's self esteem intact.

However, the book is not as great at providing actual solutions. It sends you a lot of messages, but does not provide a lot of concrete help. It says many times to be calm, cool and collected at all times - but doesn't give any advice for women who are emotional. It tells you not to be friends with your subordinates, not to drink with co-workers, and (I kid you not) to have all of your minions snap to attention when you enter a meeting room. It apparently is a bad sign if they keep talking when you enter, rather than all looking immediately to you and waiting with hushed breath for your next precious word.

I definitely agree that many of the suggestions here are good ones, if common sense. Praise in public, criticize in private. Don't focus on blame, focus on improving and fixing things. If you apologize, apologize specifically "I am very sorry for xxxxxx" rather than generically.

And I suppose if for some women the "chatty girl" approach of the book gets across a message that they did not understand or absorb otherwise, that is a good thing. We all learn in different ways, and we all have different styles.

Still, it bothers me that women would focus on the mindset of "I have to be careful not to be a bitch" - or that women would focus on the "being a boss sucks" idea. Again, if you have something stuck in your mind, it affects how you act and how others act towards you. It is far more productive to focus on "being a mentor to others is a fantastic opportunity" - and then find ways to make that happen and to handle any challenges that stand in your way. I would much rather see more books come out with that focus.



0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

This was a great place to start, 2007-11-24
As soon as I received the promotion I went to the bookstore to search for management books. This one was the best of the bunch! The writing is great and it is an easy read and very helpful! I have sticky notes and dogeared many of the pages! I refer to it often.

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