REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book

A lot of you have been saying that I don’t know anything about REAL ninjas. But that’s a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don’t know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some "code of honor." Yeah right! If by "code of honor," you mean "code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet," then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads," then you’re the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot.

No thank you,

Robert Hamburger

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All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Awesome as Ghosts/Aliens, Robert's Second Book, 2008-12-06
I got into Hamburger's books by reading his second book Ghosts/Aliens. I was hoping that Real Ultimate Power would be just as hilarious and INSANE as Ghosts/Aliens, and, boy, I was not disappointed. Both books let the reader into the universe of a totally obsessed individual and how he interacts with the world through that obsession. After reading both works, I can see how the author has progressed and sharpened his satirical knives. Definitely recommend part 1 and 2 of the Hamburger Trilogy for anyone who wants to read one of the funniest guys you've never heard of. This is not for everyone though--at times the book can be mildly jarring for people not accustomed to gritty and raunchy writing. Overall, I can't wait to see what Robert Hamburger or Trey Hamburger or whoever this guy is comes up with next!


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Funniest book I've ever read, 2008-11-30
if you like the website realultimatepower dot net, you'll love this book. It's the funniest book I've ever read.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Be prepared to crap your pants, 2008-11-10
Okay. I agree with everyone else who gave 5-star-ratings no matter your reason, but honestly I think the book is mainly supposed to be humorous--not get you to focus on a demented childhood. This is probably my favorite book of all time because every single sentence is hilarious and unique in terms of comical content.
Ghosts/Aliens by Trey Hamburger (Robert's Cousin) is probably my 2nd favorite because it is friggin sweet or awesome.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

I smile every time I merely see this book on my shelf, 2008-10-27
I LOVE THIS BOOK. While it is absurd, juvenile, ridiculous (i.e. a great escape), it is also actually quite clever in the way it weaves its narrator's twisted adolescent life into the ninja nonsense.


2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Wittgenstein Power, 2008-08-27
With REAL ULTIMATE POWER, Robert Hamburger has written a great mocking treatise on everything Ninja, using the topic to pick apart the freaky passions of the pre, or near, pubescent male in western society. Of course, this is assuming that "Hamburger" is indeed a pen name; if not, an explanation using intentional fallacy must come into play... The epitome of satire is being named among those one satirizes, thus with the current moniker of "Frat-Lit," it seems Hamburger has completed his mission. Will he rest among the great satirists such as Swift, Dryden, Twain, Orwell, or even Groening? Perhaps not. Yet while Robert Hamburger may be young in years, he is no child, and there should be a regarded place for his work. And a great work it is. It is too easy to "after-the-fact" pick apart the banal aspects of REAL ULTIMATE POWER; much harder to find the deeper meaning among the interstices.

Then again, I've not laughed out loud as much during a reading in many years. This may be a sign of a personal lack of taste, or perhaps even an indictment of low art. However, the astute reader will surely find the value hidden in this work.

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