by Kenneth C. Haugk
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Product Description
Kenneth Haugk shows how congregational leaders can prevent or reduce much of the pain and suffering caused by antagonism in the church. He distinguishes between healthy conflict and destructive antagonism and shows how to cope productively with disruption.
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Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
 antagonists, 2008-10-31
The book gives excellent ideas on how to identify an antagonist. It also gives suggestions on how to deal with and antagonist. Most of the book is directed toward a minister's point of view, but it can also help lay people deal with issues within a congregation in the pastors absence or non-willingness to deal with the antagonist. It's a must read for lay leaders.
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
 Caution: This book LOOKS good, but . . ., 2008-10-31
On the surface, this book looks promising. It's a book that identifies a difficult problem that many church leaders face -- how to deal with difficult behavior from parishioners -- and (supposedly) offers a multitude of solutions. "Antagonism," says Haugk, "is a reality." I certainly don't disagree with the general idea that extremely difficult behavior can manifest itself in congregations. Certainly, I've been blessed (and I sincerely do mean BLESSED) with the challenge of figuring out how to deal with people whom I perceived to be antagonistic towards me. Sometimes, I've handled that challenge better than at other times. Earlier in my ministerial career, I might have readily picked up Haugk's book and thought (or even said), "See? See? There ARE antagonists out there, and they're out to get me!" But I think I've matured since then. I've had the fortune of sitting under the tutelage of some very wise mentors. I've had the privilege of working through Edwin Friedman's "Generation to Generation" and "A Failure of Nerve." I've been introduced -- in book after book, workshop after workshop -- to the concept of Bowen family systems theory and its applicability to congregational life. I've re-examined many of my own prejudices and biases. I've done some hard work to develop a significantly greater degree of inner personal strength than I previously had. And one of the byproducts of all that work is that I now look at book like Haugk's and find it woefully lacking -- and potentially even dangerous.
Haugk provides no theoretical basis for the way he defines the issue. He quotes from the Bible from time to time (especially in one of the early chapters), but seems to avoid the passages that speak of peace and reconciliation. The whole approach he offers basically seems to boil down to this: "There is antagonism in the church. The reason there is antagonism in the church is because there are antagonists in the church. Some are worse than others. Here are some suggestions for how to deal with them so you don't get hurt."
But what if he's identified the problem the wrong way? What if the problem isn't with THEM at all? What if the problem isn't those people whom we choose to label "antagonists" but rather something else, something a little more subtle? What if we make a distinction between the person and the behavior? What if part of the problem isn't our own inability to recognize those people who exhibit difficult behavior as people in their own right, who somehow have learned -- through a complex set of personal circumstances -- to behave in such ways? What if what needs to happen is not that those people need to somehow be neutralized, but rather that the whole congregational system needs to alter the way it goes about doing business -- and that the best place to begin that work is with ourselves, with those of us who have been called to be responsible shepherds for the whole community?
Haugk offers, in my opinion, a very linear model that does not even begin to grasp at the complexity of the issues. While there were some useful nuggets here and there in the book, I personally found it to be intensely distasteful. I fundamentally disagree with his starting premise. I think he's defined the problem the wrong way. The problem isn't with THEM. The problem is with US, and with our unwillingness to examine our own lack of maturity and the ways in which we contribute to the problem. It begins the very moment when we look at someone in the congregation and label them an "antagonist" or a "troublemaker." The instant we do that is the instant in which we cease to see those individuals as beloved children of God who were made in God's image. And the instant we do that is the instant in which we cease to become an effective pastor to those individuals -- and to the church as a whole. Yes, if we follow Haugk's suggestions, the immediate problem may go away. But unless the way the whole system functions is altered, someone else will take up the mantle of "antagonist." And the way to change the way the system functions is by changing ourself, and the way we function within the system. I am quite convinced: the more you can model healthy behavior yourself, the fewer problems you will have -- because the whole system watches and learns from what you do. But if you label others, expect people to label you. People follow your example. Make sure it's a good one.
If you are struggling with difficult behavior in your congregation, I would encourage you to bypass this book and go instead to "Never Call Them Jerks" by Arthur Paul Boers or to "Creating a Healthier Church" by Ron Richardson. And by all means, don't neglect to soak in the works of Edwin Friedman and Peter Steinke. And get yourself a good coach (or go to some good workshops) on Bowen family systems thinking. Believe me, you'll be glad you did.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
Antagonists in the Church, 2008-06-16
An outstanding book. It describes these people perfectly. A must read for every Christian worker in today's society.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
Why wasn't this taught in divinity school, 2006-12-22
For a church that is in conflict, this book will help keep you sane.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
Must read, 2006-07-08
I found this book to be very enlightening in dealing with antagonism in the church. It is well organized and well written and very informative. I am having my elders read the book so that they can understand the dynamics behind conflict and how to deal with it. I wish I would have read it years ago before some of the church discipline issues we have had to deal with already. Many of those issues could have been avoided.
Frank
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