by Stanton Samenow
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Product Description
Is it “just a phase,” or could your child be headed for serious trouble?
If you sense that your child is seriously troubled, you may feel bewildered, helpless, ineffective. How can you stop your child from throwing away his or her life? How can you avoid thinking that you’ve failed as a parent? In this newly revised and expanded edition of the classic guide Before It’s Too Late, clinical psychologist Stanton E. Samenow explains how to break the useless cycle of blame and take corrective action. Topics include:
* How to understand the personality of the antisocial child
* How to tell the difference between a “phase” and a pattern of misbehavior
* How to identify the seven common manifestations of antisocial behavior
* How to cope more effectively as the parent of an older antisocial child
* How to avoid the six common mistakes that prevent parents from taking action
* How to step in—early and effectively—before bad behavior becomes entrenched
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Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
 Very Informative, 2008-04-06
This book is very informative. Many people refuse to believe that children possess these tendencies and they often blame the parents for bad parenting skills. The reality is that children with these antisocial behaviors do exist in our lives. It is up to us to empower ourselves with knowledge so that we may make informed decisions in the best interest of the child and family.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Great help for parents on their wits end, 2007-02-26
I wish I found this book many years earlier. But even when "it's too late" the book can be a revelation to desperate parents of "5% of the population". The reviewers who gave a low mark to this book are perhaps from the remaining 95%. After all these years of frustration, therapist visits, bags of prescribed medicine and failing again at every turn, this book answers a question "Why?". The author does not give "instructions" on how to fix problems with antisocial children, but he gives much more - the way to understand them. Each child is different, and this book will give parents an invaluable insight into their child's mind, and they should use this insight to the best extent possible.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
An amazing insight , 2006-03-10
I wish I'd read this book years ago. This is the 2nd re-written edition of the book, which Samenow explains differs from the first in that he distinguishes more specifically between the behavior of an antisocial child and phases of bad behavior of other children.
I am a parent of 3 children - 2 are very normal, confident and well rounded, the other has been in therapy, psychiatry, psychiatric hospitals and on various cocktails of medication since he was 4 years old. Now we have reached teenage years and still have no answers or concrete diagnoses, but an increasingly problem whereby we live with locked cupboards all over over our house, dealings with police, school, firesetting problems.
After discussions with a psychologist and social worker about antisocial personality, this book was recommended to me and I recognized everything written as something we have dealt with since our son was a small child. The greatest relief given to me by this book was not only the acceptance that we did everything we could, everything advised by every doctor & therapst, but we finally understand more about how his mind works when he makes the wrong choices and treats his closest family as the enemy. This understanding alone, even before I reached the chapters on parenting advice, helped us immediately to dissolve the power struggles and changed the way we approach a conflict. This acceptance by us not only helps us but our other two children, and has possibly helped prevent further erosion of our family's esteem, hopes and sanity.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
A good explanation of what is going on . . ., 2005-08-08
The search for why a child behaves a certain way is a search for what we as parents can do about such behavior. We believe that finding answers to root causes will also provide us with the power to defeat the bad behavior and replace it with the type of behavior that will make any parent proud. But reading Dr. Samenow's book, _Before It's Too Late_, makes one realize the importance of understanding what the behavior actually is before we can even begin to ask the question, "Why?" Once we can recognize patterns of behavior in children, only then can we apply the appropriate responses--regardless of the causes of such behavior. Does the child's deficiencies interacting with family members or classmates or performing assigned tasks indicate insecurity, or do these indicate unrealistic attempts at manipulation? Dr. Samenow does not go into a detailed plan of action for dealing with each of these or other various alternatives, but I believe most parents will intuitively know the proper responses once they recognize what type of behavior they are actually dealing with. And that is exactly what this book explains best.
12 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
 Not an excellent book, keep looking., 2003-06-20
I found this book extremely frustrating and a disappointing. On and on the problem is covered and that is almost the entire book. There is very little offered in the way of helpful strategies that the average reasonable parent would not already be doing. For a parent that is struggling with a problem child keep looking because there are no answers here in this book just more of what you already know yourself. It occurred to me that I wish every councilor would put their attitudes and thoughts down in a book. That way you could read the book and in one day determine if you thought the psychologist was going to be helpful instead of risking months or years in counseling before you found out.
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