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(Not That You Asked): Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions

by Steve Almond

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Editorial Reviews
Product Description
In (Not that You Asked), Steve Almond documents a life spent brawling with the idiot kings of modern culture. He squares off against Sean Hannity on national TV, takes on Oprah Winfrey, nearly gets kidnapped by a reality TV crew, and winds up in Boston, where he quickly enrages the entire population of Red Sox Nation. Amid the carnage, he finds time to celebrate his literary hero, the late Kurt Vonnegut. These are essays the Los Angeles Times has called “rich, fearless [and] cutting.”

Praise for (Not that You Asked)

“Refreshingly irreverent . . . absurdly funny.”
–The Boston Globe

“[Almond] scores big in every chapter of this must-have collection. Biting humor, honesty, smarts and heart: Vonnegut himself would have been proud.”
–Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“Taunting, revealing, irreverent, and earnest.”
–The New York Times

“Steve Almond has created a distinctive voice and literary persona. Pleasure-obsessed, self-deprecating, horny, hilarious and always dedicated to parsing the messy terrain of the human heart.”
–Forward.com

Amazon.com Review
(Not that You Asked): Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions is an Amazon Significant Seven selection for October 2007

An Exclusive Essay from Author Steve Almond

Steve Almond is obsessed. He first offered the world a peek into his fixations in My Life in Heavy Metal, a collection of short stories throbbing with hookups, drunken kisses, failed passes, souring relationships, and, naturally, heavy metal. But Almond forever chewed the hard chocolate shell from his creamy inner obsessive with 2004's Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America--a sort of On the Road for the sugar set, documenting an epic journey through America's confectionary highways and backroads. Almond is back with (Not that You Asked): Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions, a collection of autobiographical pieces covering topics as diverse as Oprah Winfrey, Kurt Vonnegut, sexual failure, and the many varieties of shame. We asked Almond just what it is about obsession that drives his work, as well is its intrinsic value in all art--low and high. --Jon Foro




The Obsession Engine
Why House of Rock with Bret Michaels could be your next novel. Or not.

By Steve Almond

A close friend of mine – who may or may not be my wife – recently fell in love with the VH-1 reality series House of Rock. For those of you who are not hip to its charms, HoR stars Bret Michaels, the former lead singer of Poison, and a gaggle of women vying to become his soul mate. I hope you will not be shocked to learn that several of these potential soul mates are strippers. Nor do all of them appear to be virgins.

My friend insists that her interest in the program is purely anthropological. But I happen to know that she spent a good portion of her adolescence listening to Eighties hair metal bands and dreaming about bedding dudes like Bret Michaels and even working, briefly, as a waitress in a topless bar. She comes by her obsession naturally, is my point.

The longer I read and write, the more I come to view obsession as the essential engine of literature. I am not suggesting that my wife, er, friend should write a novel about House of Rock. (The series is, by her own description, a kind of pulp novel already--histrionic, predictable, crushingly squalid.) What I’m suggesting is that her allegiance to the program identifies essential fears and desires within her, ones which embarrass her quite robustly and therefore belong in the novel she hopes to write.

To take this a step further: I’m not interested in writing that isn’t obsessive. Who is? We’re all drama queens in the end. We all come to stories with two basic questions: Who do I care about? And What do they care about? As long as our hero, or heroine, cares deeply about something (i.e. is obsessed), and as long as they’re willing to tell us their own twisted version of the truth, we’ll come along for the ride.

Don’t believe me? Let me call to the stand my star witness, Humbert Humbert. Read more...





All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:4.5 out of 5 stars
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsLaughs and heart, 2008-08-04
Like a lot of other Almond fans, I find his scabrous, often self-deprecating Gen-X humor hilarious, but what keeps me coming back for more (I also loved his short story collection My Life in Heavy Metal -- brilliant!) is how he effectively mixes insight into his irreverent take on the world of sex, popular culture, the literary scene, sports and just about everything else.

He is certainly funny, but he is also a dedicated writer who isn't afraid to open up his heart to the reader and express his love for writing and the artist's way of life. Reading him, you get the sense that he has paid his dues, sitting in crappy apartments plugging away at fiction when most people just didn't give a damn and the money wasn't there.

Each of the essays in this book is varied in tone and subject, so I stayed interested throughout. I normally get bored with short story and essay collections at about the half-way point (I prefer the sustained dramatic arc of novels to shorter pieces), even with witty writers like Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, but with Almond there's a range to his work that sustains the entire collection.

At times, his strident mockery gets old (as any rants do), but then he becomes genuine and perceptive and his prose sings with eloquence, and I'd find myself absorbed all over again.

Great collection.


0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsyes, you asked. so here's what I think..., 2008-07-27
Not That You Asked in my opinion is one of his best yet! I laughed until I cried at the trials and tribulations of his adolescence...I know that his letters to Oprah must be on the minds of many authors who are too afraid to tell it like it is...I've know a few sports junkies with similar obsessions and I share his political views. Reality TV'S realities, very funny... This book is thoroughly entertaining and I recommend it to anyone who needs a good laugh or a look into the plight of the author.
And YES, I do agree, your photo in My Life in Heavy Metal should be a typical Porn Star photo...


0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

2 out of 5 starsDisappointing, 2008-06-25
Having read a lot of really good American non-fiction and short stories lately, I was looking forward to this book after a couple of glowing recommendations. Well, I'll never trust those sources again. The author's attempts to be clever are so predictable that you think he's setting you up for something more significant later. Alas, nothing else is forthcoming! After slogging through this book, looking for nuggets of good writing (and I did find a couple), I finally finished the book on a flight to Paris. When I got off the plane, I unintentionally left the book behind and I realized this fact later that night at my hotel. To be perfectly honest, I've never been less upset about losing anything in my life.


2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsAlmond Joy (Ouch, that's a bad pun...and I bet I'm not the first to use it, either) , 2008-05-18
In some ways, this book seems a little dated and jaded - Almond takes on some easy targets - the Bush Administration, the shallowness of most bloggers, his own often-ridiculous sex life (join the club!), celebrity culture, reality TV - these are just a few.

But there are four elements that, for me, elevate this work beyond the familiarity of some of the topics it covers:

1) Almond is a terrific writer: His prose is snappy and spot-on. He finds the perfect words to describe things you might too have observed but never could have put so artfully. He's often very funny, but always in a smart and honorable way - he deserves the laughs he gets.

2) Almond has a great eye: He lives in the same world we do, but he's somehow removed himself enough that he sees it much more clearly than most of us ever could. What's wonderful and generous is that he shares that view with you.

3) Almond has had some really interesting things happen to him: Yeah, a lot of people have complained about reality television, but how many were actually the subject of an episode of a reality show? Almond was, and the experiences and insights he shares will make it impossible for you to ever watch an episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" in the same way again (of course, it's devoutly to be wished that you're not watching that show at all, but you get the point). Likewise, many have complained about the Bush Administration, but how many left good jobs to protest its actions, and subsequently were attacked on conservative talk shows for doing so? Almond has, and his story is both hilarious and deeply frightening. In some way, I enjoy his essays in the same way I'd enjoy the story of a mountain climber - I'm not schlepping up that hill, but it's deeply fascinating to read about someone who did.

4) Almond has a big heart and strong moral vision: While Almond can be snarky and sarcastic, he's not doing it for the cheap laugh or because he has nothing better to offer. Almond really cares about this planet and the people who live on it. He wants us to be better: fairer, kinder, more loving and more respectful of the interconnectedness of all living beings. What outrages him most is cruelty, selfishness and the squandering of the great gifts we've been given and should share. That's the deeper message of this book, and Almond communicates it in beautiful language without ever sounding preachy or superior.

So, five stars for Mr. Almond and this enjoyable and enlightening book of essays.

Scott Sherman, author, First You Fall: A Kevin Connor Mystery





0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4 out of 5 starsNot that you asked , 2008-03-17
I enjoyed the book very much. I do think however that the use of the "f"word was not necessary.




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