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The Helldivers' Rodeo: A Deadly, X-Treme, Scuba-Diving, Spearfishing, Adventure Amid the Off Shore Oil Platforms in the Murky Waters of the Gulf of Mexico

by Humberto Fontova

List Price:$19.95
Amazon Price:$15.96 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25.
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Average Rating:4 out of 5 stars
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Editorial Reviews
Product Description
An account of some of the wildest, most x-treme sportmen in recent memory.


All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:4 out of 5 stars
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsExcellent Book, 2008-06-24
This book changed my life! I grew up in SE LA fishing my whole life, always wondering what was underneath the water, after reading Humberto's book, I decided to try it out. Granted Humberto exagerates some, but that's what makes it such an entertaining read.

I now spearfish the rigs on a regular basis, and it's the most fun I've had since i was a kid. All of the local spearfishing clubs are full of a great bunch of guys as well, including the ones mentioned in the book.

If you have an interest in Louisiana fishing / diving / or spearfishing, you need to read this book.


2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

1 out of 5 starsImmature and shallow minded, 2008-04-14
Sad example of how some men are brainwashed into thinking that destroying life somehow proves their manhood. And the larger the physical body they kill, the more admiration/love they feel for themselves. (Fontana actually believes this is how most other people think, and at one point says a big kill is how to get "the best poon-tang". He says the only thing that is changed is how money replaced the animal body. I'm here to say the reality of what is the "best" sex or the "best" man is vastly different for many of us...including those who farm, hunt, and fish.)

I have nothing against hunting and killing when it is done with skill and respect for animals, and done with the intent of providing food--which is the within the natural order of life. Unfortunately, the following typifies Fontova's attitude. "You see a huge cobia or amberjack lumbering by--schlink--Ba-LOOOM!! and the big sucker stops in his tracks. Must be the same rush as shooting an elephant between the eyes from close range--POW!--and watching him collapse like a dynamited building." Seeing the demise of an intelligent, magnificent creature does not give me a rush. Neither does pretending to be in a death battle with fish who do not have our brains or tools, and as a group (marine species particularly), are being depleted much faster than they can restock and survive. The hunters and fishermen/women I admire are heavily into conservation, killing with as little pain as possible, and don't think seeing somebody about get himself killed is something to brag about. This guy couldn't hold a candle to them.

Fontana talks about using various weapons and giving the fish a chance, fighting "mano a mano". Give me a break. They're stupid fish. There is no real contest here, just a brainless desire to find excitement in the chosen possibility of death, dismemberment, and pain. And when not feeling the desire for that kind of excitement, the "rush of strutting around with serious firepower" will do (i.e. just reminding himself who has the greater killing ability can make him happy). Of course, risking the "icy clutch of danger" is further improved by "serious buzzing" and routine drugging of one form or another. I can't imagine who taught this man these are the ways prove himself worthy among "men". If I didn't know better, I'd think he was a teenager--which is how I came across the book--a seventeen year old kid gave it to me to read. I am so glad most "action" writers I've come across have more spiritual, emotional, and global awareness than Fontova and are better role models for youth.

If glorifying death isn't reason enough to skip this book, try Fontova's attitude on what makes a life worth living. He thinks people come down to Louisiana and get mysteriously transformed for the better by having the desire to do nothing but eat, drink, and get laid. Here's his amusing anecdote to sum up that philosphy. "An old Cajun put it a little more bluntly. 'If you can't eat 'em or F--- 'em, they're worthless." I wonder if he ever considers God's opinion or interpretation of creation. There are certainly no signs of that in this book.

I think I'll go back and reread "Wildlife Wars". Funnier, with more variety, and written by an honorable man who chose to do battle and test himself over things that really matter. Check out Terry Grosz and you'll see what I mean.


1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsA nice trip, 2005-09-13
Thank you Doug Terry for telling me that triggerfish won't chew my earlobes off! I actually had a nightmare over that one!

As a recreational scuba diver and spearfisherman on Florida's east coast, I found the book a little shy of technical details. For example, what gas mixes did they use, how many of 'em spent time in a decompression chamber, etc. As a quarter-cuban waterman who grew up in Miami and the Florida Keyes, I could relate to many of the scenes in the story.

I was impressed by the writing of Humberto Fontova. It took me back to my youth, and really makes you appreciate the bonds between your buddies. Guys need to get together for some brutal backbreaking, boat pounding, bloody carnage, and beverage-consuming adventure action, every now and then, it's what we do!

The timing of my read, after Hurricane Katrina's devastation, makes you feel for these folks, who truly enjoy life at its best. I wish them all speedy recovery, and hope that all his buddies can find their old sandbar to relax on.....


1 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4 out of 5 starsJust a little too guilty of a pleasure, 2005-04-05
Mix one part Rodney the Shark Guy, one part Ted Nugent, and two parts your uncle who always seems to have those tall tales, and you wind up with this wild ride through the spear-fishing haunts of Humberto Fontova.

On the surface, it's about about a bunch of guys who just won't grow up and go deep see fishin' (the hard way) off the oil rigs. And it doesn't really get any deeper than that, but does it need to? (And who knew oil platforms had the ecological side benefit of turning into reefs?)

No grand moralizing, just a couple fun guys and their fish tales. You'll be surprised at how hard it is to put down.


4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 starsI couldn't put it down!!!, 2004-12-27
This is probably one of the most enjoyable books I have read in the last five years. The author and his cohorts are definitely brave, almost certainly missing a few screws and possibly suicidal, but they enjoy what they are doing so much that after a while the insanity of it all doesn't seem to matter. Stories about divers diving with football helmets so they don't get knocked out on the steel beams of the oil rig and the stalking of sharks (!!) in the opaque murk at the bottom of the sea floor would seem farcical or just stupid coming from almost anyone else, but when Fontova writes it is riveting, believable and also hilarious.

Fontova is often brutally honest about the risks that the rig-divers take. While his writing clearly expresses the enjoyment and thrill of this type of spear fishing, he does not try to glorify it or to imply that it is safe or easy or simple, because it is none of those things.

One of the best things about this book is also one of the most unexpected: it's not just about hunting, it's about everything else too. In between the stories about the dives, Fontova talks about south Louisiana culture, the workings and modification of spear guns, the theory of operation behind scuba gear, the rules for how deep and how long it is considered safe to dive (after which he talks about how the rig divers exceed all limits of safety or even common sense on their dives), the dynamics of the mixing of the Mississippi River water with the Gulf of Mexico water, a brief history of oil rigs, basic fish anatomy and the types and temperament of fish seen around the rigs, why Jacques Cousteau once gave a talk at a local dive shop, a first-person perspective on Che Guevera, and dozens of other things besides.

This is really an excellent book that I have recommended and will continue to recommend to family and friends. The only people who probably won't like it are anti-hunting activists and those that feel Prohibition should never have been repealed. Aside from them, it has something for everyone.




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