by Ph.D. Susan Campbell
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Product Description
Everyone values honest communication, yet few people possess the requisite skills. Susan Campbell provides simple yet practical awareness practices — culled from her 35-year career as a relationship coach and corporate consultant — that require individuals to “let go” of the need to be right, safe, and certain. Such questions as “In what areas of my life do I feel the need to lie, sugarcoat, or pretend?” help guide the reader toward self-realization. The ten truth skills include Letting Yourself Be Seen, Taking Back Projections, Saying No, Welcoming Feedback, Expressing Taboo Thoughts and Emotions, Revising an Earlier Statement, Holding Differences, Sharing Mixed Emotions, and Embracing the Silence of Not Knowing.
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Average Customer Review:
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Real Eye Opener, 2009-11-19
I've read a lot of self-help books but never one that really convinced me of their usefulness. This book is the first one that actually made me feel better without trying to fool myself. After a number of relationship failures and years of unhappiness I'm starting to recognize why these things happened and what I can do to stop making the same mistakes over again. Communication is key and I feel this book hands me the key and shows me the door. Reality is a beautiful thing to discover.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
 jack, 2009-09-29
A book everyone in the world shoud read. Got exactly what I ordered,great price, took about a week to arrive.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
A better way to view the world, 2009-07-31
If you want to have better relationships, to fit better in the world and to understand what goes on and wrong with relationships, then Getting Real is a must read.
At the outset, Susan Campbell tells us, "that about 80 percent of the average person's communications are geared toward controlling things that are actually beyond the person's control: a huge waste of human energy."
Trying to control things beyond your control has to lead to frustration, anger, anxiety and increased levels of stress. It is not healthy for relationships.
"The people in my study who experienced the greatest number of painful unexpected surprises (such as job loss, divorce, and alienation form their grown children) were those who demonstrated the highest need for control."
There is an extremely valuable lesson here. Give up trying to control and learn to accept what is. She says we need to give up our need to be right and start being real.
The ten truth skills are: 1) Experience what is 2) Be transparent 3) Notice your intent 4) Welcome feedback 5) Assert what you want and what you don't want 6) Quit projecting 7) Be open to revising previous statements 8) Be okay with holding different viewpoints 9) Learn to share mixed emotions and 10) Learn to live in the moment
This book is very well written and based on years of research and actual practice. There are plenty of examples to support the 10 Truth Skills.
You will need to approach this book with an open mind. If you are not trained in these skills, you will need to change your way of thinking as they often run contrary to convention.
This book can be of great help in improving the way you think and act. Removing the need to control things beyond your control will immediately reduce the stress in your life - and stress is directly responsible for well over 80% of all health issues.
I highly recommend this book. Read it and use these 10 Truth Skills to change the way you live. You will live a better life by adopting them.
1 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
Get Smart, 2006-11-10
Not just psychobabble and a soapbox for the writer, which a lot of these type books are--- a very enlightening read for anyone--- from teenagers up.
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
Excellent and practical advice..., 2006-02-19
This is an excellent and very practical book on authentic and effective communication. It is written in a very readable style and presented in a way that is logical, coherent and easy to assimilate. Many of the ideas put forth in this book are not the standard fare ones sees within this genre. When the ideas are what you may have encountered in other readings, they are presented in a fresh light. The one minor criticism I have is that I found the book a bit heavy on case histories or stories. For me, this is somewhat of a weakness, but I know for others this can be a strength. If they had a 4.5 star category, I might lower my rating a bit because of this. Two books that I have found complimentary to this one are Crucial Conversations and Difficult Conversations. I would consider both of these to be excellent books for dealing with family or relationship conflict and they build on the philosophy and concepts presented in this book. This book is more heart centered than the other two and go more deeply into specific conflict resolution concepts. All of them, however, assume a principled, authentic and heart-centered approach to dealing with others.
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