by Patrick J. Carnes
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Product Description
Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of exploitive relationships: why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He explains to readers how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and provides a checklist so they can examine their own relationships. Included are steps readers can take to safely extricate themselves or their loved ones from these situations.
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Average Customer Review:
0 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
 Fast Shipping, 2009-09-15
The book was in good shape. It had highlighting inside which wasn't stated in the condition description. Shipping was fast.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
great book, 2009-04-24
This was the most informative and helpful book I have ever read on the subject of abusive realationships ever!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
Best Trauma/Abuse Book Ever, 2009-02-16
This book should be considered a "must have" for inividuals who have been through traumatic events, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, etc. If you allow yourself to follow the recommendations it can change your life. Should be a required book from all therapists who provide therapy realted to any type of trauma abuse.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
Betrayal Bond, 2009-01-17
I am still reading this book, but it has so much meaning not only for the professionals, but for anyone that has had to deal with these types of issues. This book opens up so much for those both in the professional field and those that have had to deal with these issues in real life.
4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
Betrayal of Trust by Therapists is all too common, 2008-11-08
I see that a number of people have unfortunately found that therapy isn't the be-all and end-all of healing. I agree that this is an excellent book, but needs to have more focus on friends and family outside of the paid so-called "healing professions" which encourage dependency and the transfer of funds from you to them, all the while insisting that their way is "right" and you are sick and "wrong." I learned this the hard way, but once I got away from "therapy" I found real healing in areas of PTSD and Codependency, and of course a developing faith in one's Higher Power, or God, or whatever you call the Divine.
The title of this book says it all: "The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships." This can and all too often does include exploitive therapeutic bonds, which means you are exploited by them for financial gain. There are other ways to heal that don't cost money and work. Just ask any incest survivor who went to a therapist who said they had to be committed due to the mistreatment they had received! A therapist-induced trauma is as difficult to heal from as the initial betrayal, which is why people go to therapy in the first place. And it's incredible how little oversight is given into what kind of people become "therapists" and how controlling so many of them actually are. Talk about exploitation. What can a "patient" do to protect themselves? Find sources of support that don't cost money. Simple enough. There you aren't a "sick patient," but a human being trying to become whole. Being treated as a human being makes all the difference in the world.
I was betrayed in the worst possible way by a so-called "therapist," Sonja K. Schoenwald, at Duke University in the early 1990's. (She's now at the Family Services Research Center at the Medical University of South Carolina, a different university where she can continue "her work" with no record to follow her).
She and her supervisors and professors (none of whom knew me or had ever even met me) all went after me "guns a blazing" and the extent of their therapeutic lies was incredible. You never know what these people might be writing and saying about you: in my case, my "therapist" interpreted everything I said or did in her own "special way" to further her career. None of it was true, and I had to go to court to prove this fact. It was four long years just to "correct the record" as this therapist refused to do so, and all her supervisors backed her up as they believed they were "exempt" under the law. I had to change state law so that a therapist could in fact be sued for falsehoods, as up until then they were "exempt" under the law. North Carolina was very backward at the time, but times thankfully are changing.
Too many therapists act one way to your face to get your money coming in every week, and are completely unregulated or taught anything about morals, truth and conscience. They do anything they want and there is little if any recourse if and when they damage their patients. I'm sure there are some good therapists out there (I've had a few) but after this last go-round, I will never again trust a paid member of the "helping professions." Real friends and family are what count; they "help" for free. You can count on them whether you have money or not, and they aren't promoting their own brand of career-boosting nonsense. Few people want to hear this, and are shocked and offended when I say what happened to me, so I've learned to keep quiet and this just adds to the PTSD and after-effects. Therefore, I am prepared to withstand attacks from others as I have resolved to tell the truth about what happened to me. Amen.
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Addendum, as I continue to read and work the program recommended in this book:
If only I had found this book (and it had been written!) 20 years ago, or 30 years ago, or 40 years ago... how different my life might have been. I have underlined almost every page, underscored almost every sentence, wondered how in the world did he "know me so well?"
Thank you to the author for showing us a way to "break free and be me." A way to reconstruct my life - at long last - on a foundation made of rock, instead of sand.
Amen. God love you all.
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