by Alan E., Ph.D. Fruzzetti
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| List Price: | $15.95 |
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Product Description
Some couples need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When out-of-control emotions are the root cause of problems in a relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. What these "high-conflict" couples need is help regulating the emotions that provoke the "escape or win" mode of interaction that has come to define them. In this book, a noted expert in the use of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) in couples’ therapy adapts this powerful set of emotion regulation tools. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you’ll learn how to deescalate conflict situations before they have a chance to flare into serious fights. Other techniques help partners in a relationship disclose their personal fears and vulnerabilities and validate one another’s experiences. Ultimately, you’ll learn how to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and how to find true acceptance and closeness with your partner.
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Average Customer Review:
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
satisfied customer, 2008-11-05
very happy with the experience i had with my first purchase and it is in great condition i was worried before i recieved it that i would not get it in time but i actually got it earlier than expected and like the fat that every chapter has homework if u will to do for you and your partner. when i finish i will than turn around and sell it to someone else who needs the same bit of help as we did. thank u
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
Lasting Change, 2008-06-14
The skills outlined by Fruzzetti are easy to understand and practical to try in ones daily life with their significant other. The book highlights a skill called "validation" which most of us are not even aware of but is a behavior we perform daily. Increasing positive validation and decreasing nevative validation is a guaranteed way to improve your relationship. Once you see the results for yourself you'll be hooked!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
High Conflict Couple, 2008-05-15
This book would be helpful for a couple who experiences intense emotional conflicts and for psychotherapists who work with couples experiencing these conflicts. The book uses the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy and the author had worked with Dr. Marsha Linehan to develop this model. The book was easy to follow and understand.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
Great book for people seeking help in a struggling relationship!, 2008-01-20
This book really helped me understand some of the dynamics of my marriage that I had previously been confused by. I couldn't figure out how two people who love each other so much could rip each other to shreds in times of conflict. It's written very clearly and the exercises are great for helping you become more aware and less reactive. I would recommend this book for anyone who is struggling in a relationship and seeks to make it better.
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
analytically oriented help for conflict-prone couples, 2007-07-30
High Conflict Couple is a concise, easy to understand guide for couples seeking to deepen their relationship and ease their conflicts.
Its tone is a bit crisper, cooler, and more analytical than most marriage guides. This is actually its strength, speaking to the analytical half of your relationship in a straight-forward way they will appreciate and understand even if they shy away from most relationship-help books as being too touchie-feelie. The message is the same as many guides, that validation (lingo for healthy supportive loving communication) is the key to a happy, intimate relationship-- and it is the key. This book helps approach that need from the angle of couples or individuals who have already been conflict-prone.
The book has open-ended exercises that are useful if a bit vague, precise examples, and very good flow from chapter to chapter, start to finish. Even the layout is accessible with short measured segments that allow the reader to pause and reflect frequently.
Pair this with The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert for a complete set of paperback marriage counseling: that book contains many accessible examples, detailed exercises, and 2-person activities to try with your partner. I highly recommend the combination of the two books.
Regardless, if you're the emotional half of your relationship, get High Conflict Couple for your emotionally-challenged partner. If you're the analytical half, the guide will speak to you right away, and you'll wonder why nobody ever explained it to you in such a direct easy to understand way.
Highly recommended whether you are in a happy relationship, a struggling one, or struggling to understand why a relationship failed.
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