Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming Parent-child Relationships from Reaction And Struggle to Freedom, Power And Joy

"Aldort’s book should be on the must read list of all Moms and Dads. This book could carry a subtitle: "Saving the Emotional Lives of Our Children and The Future of Humanity.""

- James Prescott, Ph.D. Institute of Humanistic Science

"Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves operates on the radical premise that neither child nor parent must dominate; it is for those who want to give up scolding, threatening and punishing. Her SALVE "formula" alone is worth the price of the book." - Peggy O'Mara Editor and Publisher of Mothering

"Every once in awhile, a writer comes along who is comfortable speaking the truth, no matter how much it might challenge us or make us uncomfortable. Naomi Aldort is one of those people. In Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, Naomi Aldort takes the struggle out of parenting and replaces controlling and shaping style of parenting with one that values, trusts and nurtures children's innate abilities and autonomy."

- Wendy Priesnitz Editor of Life Learning magazine, author of School Free and Challenging Assumptions in Education

"In this stunning insight into human nature, Naomi Aldort opens a window into harmonious family living. This book should to be widely read and not just by parents but by every being who strives for a more peaceful world."

- Veronika Robinson, Editor of The Mother magazine, UK

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All Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

A Wisdom That Challenges, 2008-07-14
Aldort's book is far enough outside the accepted norm for parenting that I wish she had spent more time in the text making the TRANSLATION between what people CURRENTLY practice and what she is INVITING them to practice. There is too much wisdom here for her to be dismissed because her perspective is so different from traditional approaches.

Apart from this criticism, however, the book is quite readable and what she recommends operationalizes for parents in modern times (among other things)the "turn the other cheek" sensibility of ancient wisdom.


1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

This book will change the way you view your child (and yourself, too)!, 2008-06-17
I have read and reread this amazing book "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" so many times and have found it to be such a wonderful resource as I strive to be the best parent I can be. To be able to figure out myself as a parent first and why I act/respond the way I do, and then to apply that to the way I raise my child is truly a gift. And that is what this book is to me - an incredible gift that is changing myself, my marriage and my child's life as I can choose to parent him differently than I was raised. I was so impressed with Naomi's insights in this book, that I also bought her CD's for my husband so he can share in this rich knowledge for himself in the car on his way to and from work. He now wants to buy these for his dad friends as every day he walks in the door, he has some new information to share with me or to demonstrate with our son that makes our home such a happy place to be a child AND a parent.

Naomi has it right - parenting is no longer a struggle if you understand yourself first, and the way you were parented, and then you will be able to have your blinders removed to parent your children with joy and peace instead of the struggle we are falsely led to believe parenting is simply about. I wish every parent chould have access to such amazing insight in helping to change the world one parent and child at a time!


4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

this book will change your life... for the better!, 2008-05-30
This book has been one of the most transformative things i have read in my parenting journey. i am so inspired by naomi aldort's words and the way she guides you in your journey. i have found the book has had significant impact upon my life as a parent, and as a wife! my kids are happier and i am so much more connected to them.

i am not perfect as a parent but i feel naomi aldort affirms me on my journey and meets anyone who picks up her book exactly where they are at. there is no condemnation for anyone in the pages of this book, just love, acceptance and guidance. how refreshing and life giving!

i wish you many life changing moments as you read this book.

bea marshall

ps. her website is brill too [...]


20 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

nice insight, but a bit lousy, 2008-05-25
Although I like Naomi Aldort's approach and techniques , I think that this book is not for everyone.
I agree that most parents should let go of their will of control over their children's behavior, and try to connect with them more on an emotional level. I also agree that bribes, punishments, time-outs and such methods are best avoided and do not work in the long run ( with my 3 y old they never worked even as short-term solutions).
But since parents are in charge, they sometimes need to take action in a firm and loving way. This book does NOT provide tools to figure out this proper way to deal with everyday issues.
It just points vaguely to the need to provide a strong leadership.
Perhaps for some enlightened people, like Naomi actually appears to be, there is no need for further explanation. Most parents would appreciate it though, including myself, who have always been a wishy-washy kind of parent.
Furthermore, I find Aldort's style a bit lousy and not very empathetic towards parents, despite her best intentions. While reading, I often found myself thinking " Gee, I'd really like to be like her" . But I'm not. So what?
Her approach stems out of her unique way to be an exceptionally nurturing, loving person rather than being a technique that everyone can learn ad apply.
It must be said that the books offers a very important tool with the S.A.L.V.E. technique which helps the parent to accept children the way they are, and validate their feelings. This is the most valuable part.
I have found a similar, yet much more useful and powerful approach in "Playful Parenting" by dr.L Cohen. "Playful Parenting" is a very nice book that helps you reconnecting with children and meeting their needs without giving up 100% on cooperation ( While I agree that power struggles are best avoided, Aldort seems to consider the parental wish of kid cooperation just a sneaky form of control, and gives the parent full responsibility in cleaning up after children).
Another thing I do not like about this book is that it treats children like little adults. Aldort condemns praise and expectations, but after trying the "praise avoidance" for a couple of months, I have realized that my daughter actually needs and craves my approval and my cheers. I think we all need some praise from close people who loves us and which we love. Maybe there are some people (m including Naomi) who are so grounded and self-confident not to need praise anymore, what can I say? I'm not amongst them.
I recommend this book to already "good" and balanced parents who want to fine-tune their skills. I would also recommend it to parents that have shy, introverted children. Anyone can give it a read, but most parents will not be ready to go for Naomi's method without some additional skills to help them "offer guidance" to the children going completely wild! This is especially true for parents of strong-willed little people, who will benefit from coupling this book with another book focusing on EFFECTIVE parenting skills and tips.



4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Essential reading for all parents, 2008-04-21
For any parent who wants to break the controlling style of discipline that creates so many problems and weakens relationships. Naomi suggests such a refreshingly simple way of keeping a loving connection with children through communication. Highly recommended.

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