by Stanley A. Terman
|
| List Price: | $30.00 |
| Amazon Price: | $30.00 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. |
| Average Rating: |  |
| Lowest New Price: | $30.00 |
| Availablitiy: | Usually ships in 24 hours |
|
 |
|
Product Description
What are our two greatest end-of-life fears? To endure unnecessary prolonged pain and suffering, and merely to exist in a state of total indignity and dependency such as in Alzheimer's dementia. Uninformed, some people add layers of tragedy to their destiny. Some choose to die prematurely; others, violently; a few risk imprisonment by mercy killing. Often their lament is, If only Physician-Assisted Suicide were legal. Yet there is an alternative that is already legal: Voluntary Refusal of Food & Fluid. While sometimes intentionally maligned as barbaric starvation, ceasing all Food & Fluid is a truly peaceful way to hasten dying by dehydration. While taking an average of 14 days, it allows for the exchange of healing goodbyes with loved ones who can forever be sure it was these patients' intent since they could have changed their mind.
What makes the process peaceful? Knowing how to control thirst. (The author went on two fasts himself to learn what works.) In addition, good discussions with family members before beginning. Consistent with the principles of some religions, this method is available even for patients who are physically too sick to put a lethal dose of medication in their mouths and swallow.
By creating strategically effective documents for a trusted agent or proxy to withhold Food & Fluid on the patient's behalf, this way to Permit Natural Dying can actually extend the quality of life of those with early dementia. They can enjoy living until they reach a point they have previously described in behavioral terms (perhaps with help from using one of the book's forms).
Beyond serving as an authoritative source of information to strive for an ironclad strategy for dementia, the book endorses life's most ironic fact: When people know they can control when they die--they can, and often do--choose to live longer.
Poignant memoirs illustrate its practical guidelines and useful forms; for example, why Proxy Directives are more effective than Living Wills, and how to make Living Wills work better if they are the only available choice.
The book-within-a-book format of this book is as unique as its content is comprehensive. Over 300 citations, an index, a glossary, and further resources... yet its core reading is user-friendly for all. The subject matter is lightened by 22 cartoons and humorous stories; deepened by provocative discussions of the secular meaning of Sanctity of Life ; and broadened by considering the emotional, practical, clinical, legal, moral, ethical, religious, spiritual, and political aspects of a subject that will affect absolutely everyone.
Customers who bought this item also bought
Average Customer Review:
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
 very helpful and comprehensive discussion of end of life issues, 2008-08-21
excellent, comprehensive discussion. this book clearly identifies end of life issues and provides useful counsel to achieve a given individuals goals. highly recommend.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
most informative, 2008-05-12
Dying is not a problem: it is the process of dying that can be terrible> Dr. Stanley A. Terman's "The Best Way To Say Goodbye" is as good as anythig I read in being able to make better choices for the transition.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
Everything you need to know, 2008-01-19
The content of this reference provides everything you need to know about voluntary refusal of food and fluid. I encourage readers to purchase a copy for themselves as well as family and friends because it is the most comprehensive of its kind! Dr. Terman's approach is solidified in knowledge of the subject matter and personal experience. I commend him on his ability to address such a sensitive and important topic in ways that help his audience feel at ease and at times entertained as they explore a legal peaceful way to say goodbye.
Stephanie Mason, MA, PsyD Candidate
15 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
 Not the best way to say goodbye, 2008-01-11
The Best Way to Say Goodbye: a Legal Peaceful Choice at the End of Life has some excellent information. However, the book is so redundant that its information is not useful. As a counselor and a professional geriatric care manager, it is not a book I would recommend.
Basically the book is an extensive exhortation to use starving and dehydrating as a way of ending your life. The author, a psychiatrist, actually tried the method himself for 4 days. Oddly, he was not bothered by hunger pangs or thirst. He spends most of the 450 pages justifying this method of dying, which he calls Voluntary Refusal of Food and Fluid. Whenever this method is mentioned in the book, it is typed in bold face, which gets annoying.
Refusing food and fluids may not be experienced as an easy death by patients to whom taste is a primary source of pleasure, other pleasures having been removed by the effects of their disease. The initial deprivation before onset of a coma could be psychologically painful. The author neglects to mention that Azotemia, a normal and comfortable biological reaction to lack of food and water, is well known by hospice workers for the sedating side effect on dying persons.
The book is poorly organized. The same topics come up in almost every chapter, and the author says the same thing over and over again. It would be more useful if there were 1/10 of the words and a comprehensive index, plus addendums on thirst-reducing aids, medications that can be taken other than with fluid, and possible legal complications. A short chapter on the various religious views would be helpful.
The book needs statistical data to support the statement that "Medicare will most likely be bankrupt years before Social Security." In today's political climate, that sort of absolute statement cries for explanation.
Despite its failings, the book does contain some excellent information that might be beneficial to families of patients with a terminal diagnosis. Dr Terman mentions the financial repercussions to families and the financial burden on Medicaid of keeping patients alive in a vegetative state for the years that it is medically possible. He notes that there is no good way to die, especially not from a progressive disease such as Alzheimer's or ALS. The legal difficulties with euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide are described, and the value of being as explicit as possible in your directive to physiciansis emphasized. There are helpful discussions on comfort care and the downside of tube feeding.
Dr. Terman shamelessly uses the text of this book to promote his novel on the same subject.
A Good Death by Chuck Meyer is a far better choice on this topic.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
A book for me, my loved ones, and must reading for professionals!, 2008-01-06
This is an important and useful book, but it is not "The Best Way to Say Goodbye for Dummies." That doesn't mean it is not entertaining, which is surprising, given the subject matter. Yet for me, the best parts of the book were the excellent memoirs that made me feel spurred on to action. They motivated me to learn how to avoid using a distasteful plastic bag, for example, if someone like a suffering grandparent asked me how to hasten his or her dying. Clearly there is a more aesthetic and peaceful way to die.
I enjoyed the jokes; for instance, the one about the man who could not remember if the woman answered "Yes," or "No," to his marriage proposal. And the jokes were relevant to the author's message. Yet the average reader needs to remember that this is a "book-within-a-book," that many portions can be skipped by paying attention to the symbols, and that the reader need not worry about the references or glossary, unless interested. I understand Dr. Terman wanted to provide the comprehensive basis for Voluntary Refusal of Food and Fluid so that readers could bring the "text" to their physician, attorney, or psychologist -- who can check the original references.
Actually, the entire book should be required reading for any professional who deals with patients or relatives of patients who must cope with planning for how they want their lives to end.
Yet the book is so well organized that, if someone had a specific issue they needed information about, they could find it easily and pursue it in as much depth as they wish.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has anyone in this world that they love and care about, so that these loved ones are not left wondering what end-of-life decisions were wanted. This book is also for any person who wants to have control over their lives, not only when they live, but until their dying moment.
Price is accurate as of the date/time indicated. Prices and product availability are subject to change. Any price displayed on the Amazon website at the time of purchase will govern the sale of this product.
|
Store Categories
|